First Sunday Mass

Little Michael attended his first Sunday Mass and he did spectacularly!! He stayed in his car seat for a few minutes, then started to stir, and Michael picked him up and held him the rest of the Mass. Michael Jr. didn't make a peep and just crashed out on Daddy's shoulder the entire time. It was awesome!

I was so concerned about having to nurse him in the middle of Mass. No doubt something I'll have to deal with at one time or another, but at least not this time. I fed him an hour before Mass, a pretty decent sized feeding, and fortunately, that seemed to satisfy him until we returned home.

We had a late night last night, so going to a morning Mass wasn't really on the table. In fact, it worked out really well that way because we wanted to limit little Michael's exposure to people as much as possible this early on in his development...and having lots of people come up to see him because we attended a Mass where we knew lots of people wasn't a desirable option. However, going to a Mass we never go to, 5pm on Sunday, we could largely avoid that issue.

We decided to go straight to the Mother's Chapel, largely because I was worried about needing to feed him in the middle of Mass and wanting as small a crowd around us as possible if that were the case.

However, this was probably a mistake and likely the last time we sit in the Mother's Chapel again. Of course, we will probably go to the Mother's Chapel on occasion when he is being fussy, or as he gets older, needs to be less of a distraction to others, but we will probably never again make this our first choice, for several reasons:

1) The sounds system is not very good. We had a terrible time hearing what was going on. Not just because of the noise in the chapel, but also because the sound system was not loud enough. The readings were lost upon us, we had to strain to hear anything the priest said, and when the cantor didn't sing directly into the microphone because it was the congregations's turn to respond or sing, we couldn't hear anything! And of course, no one was singing or responding in the Mother's Chapel except for my mom, Michael and me, and for a person with a less-than-stellar voice, I don't want to sing a solo everytime we are supposed to sing.

2) There are two parts to the Mother's Chapel at Good Shepherd. The part that sort of jets out into the sanctuary area, and then a back part with toys, tables, chairs and a little TV that "broadcasts" Mass for those who are in that little room. In theory, a good idea, so there is a "quiet" Mother's Chapel, and then a not so quiet one for really loud children.

However, they may as well call that little room the Romper Room because it is nothing like a room in a Church at all!! Kids are SCREAMING, playing, yelling, and parents are just letting it happen. There is no effort on behalf of anyone in the Romper Room to keep a prayerful atmosphere. I mean, great you are going to Mass, and it's nice that at least they can watch what is going on in Mass through the TV, but it's basically just an excuse to let the kids run wild and play, and not try to encourage them to pay any attention at all. And most of the parents in that room seem content to just sit there while their kids treat it like a playground!

The worst part about it is, that the "quiet" part of the Mother's Chapel (and it actually was pretty quiet) was that it was separated from the Romper Room by a thin wall, which did not keep any noise out, and a door that everyone just kept open all the time. On several occasions, Michael went over to close the door, and the parents inside seemed apathetic to do their part to keep the noise contained. Finally, Michael walked over and said somewhat forcefully to the man sitting right next to the door, "This door needs to stay closed!" There seemed to be less of a problem after that. But it still didn't contain the noise going on inside.

With a few exceptions, almost all the parents in the quiet part of the Mother's Chapel were attentive, and tried to have their children as quiet as possible. There was one or two that let their kids play with a loud toy or jump on the chairs, but by and large, everyone seemed to putting forth an effort to focus on Mass. It was way better than I expected in that regard. I expected the whole room to be like a circus.

Don't get me wrong, I am just beginning this whole parenting thing, and I have no pretensions that Michael will always be an angel. But there is a difference between kids being a little rambunctious and parents trying to corral them to some form of behavior...and parents who just let the misbehavior go unchecked. The problem isn't that kids are loud and make noise, it is just frustrating when the parents don't seem to bothered by it. Not only for the sake of teaching children good Mass behavior, but also for the sake of other people trying to participate in Mass.

One thing we discussed on the way home was wanting to make sure Michael Jr is in a position to see other people practice good Mass behavior. If we constantly keep going to the Mother's Chapel, he will observe how other children behave and assume that is an OK standard. If we start out in the main sanctuary, and then go to the Mother's Chapel when it is necessary to not distract others, then we are limiting his exposure to the non-participation, and yelling and screaming of the Mother's Chapel, and encouraging him to want to behave like the general congregation.

I don't mean to be a snob. Again, I can't reiterate enough the fact that I know we will have our struggles. It's just part of forming his behavior. iThis experience was just a little illuminating for me, and makes me want to do whatever we can do to limit our time in there as much as possible. But not all of it is the fault of the parents who use the Chapel. Like I said, most of them really helped keep a quiet atmosphere. And I think more can be done to help encourage a quieter environment: 1) the sound system needs adjustment 2) the fact that there are no books or music to sing from 3) no one came in with a collection basket. It's almost like we weren't there! Maybe if there is a little more done to help make participation in Mass easier, it will encourage attentiveness and good behavior.

So, that was our Sunday Mass experience. The first of many! Thank the Lord this one went well!