The Decision: Evacuation

Michael and I went to our 40+5 doctor's appointment yesterday, and after determining that my body was still not progressing past a snail's pace on its own, we will be inducing labor imminently.

Tonight, I go in for them to give me some medicine to help encourage my body to be more receptive to the Pitocin, the medicine they will give me to induce labor contractions and hopefully get this little guy out.

We're not super-thrilled with the outcome....of course, we much would have preferred to go into labor on my own, and the doctor was willing to do let us do it, even waiting until 42 weeks. But he thinks this baby is way too darn big and will just keep getting bigger. His primary strategy is avoiding a C-section, which, with a big baby who will just keep getting bigger, and a relatively small body structure like mine, he thinks it's best to hedge our bets and try to get him out sooner than later.

Of course, we are excited about having the baby, God willing by the end of the weekend, but we know it is going to be a long process that doesn't guarantee a regular birth. We may still be looking at a C-section in the end....but given what we know (the relative size of the baby, my lack of progress on my own, and the fact that at a certain point, the womb is not as safe of a place for the baby as the outside world), we want to do what's best for him. As the doctor put it, C-section is actually safest for the baby.

So, while God has chosen to answer our prayers that we go into labor naturally with an apparent "I have different plans" (well, there's still 12 hours before I go in) please, please pray that I can deliver without a C-section. Even that is not the worst thing in the world, but I would really, really prefer to not go that route. But, even that, we've accepted with a "It's not so bad, and we still get a baby out of it."

Of course, after the somewhat long road of waiting, the disappointments of not going into labor naturally, trying every method we can think of do induce labor on our own, and the long road we will probably be headed down these next couple of days, it's easy to miss the point of it all, which is, barring some tragedy (which I won't even think about), in a few days at the most our little baby Michael will be in our arms!!!

We can't wait to smother him with hugs and kisses....to pat his little diapered bottom....to snuggle his little chubby cheeks....to touch his soft baby hair....to identify what features look like which person....ah...it's almost like there's been this fog hovering over us that has kept us from truly looking forward to the grandest of prizes: our little baby!!!

In a few days, we'll get to hear him cry for the first time....we'll actually get to look into his eyes, and this person, all his own person, will look back at us for the first time!! He'll see the faces of the voices that have been his companions these 9.5 months...he'll get passed around from family member to family member and friend to friend as he gets introduced to the network of people who already love him. He'll get to meet Jack and Thomas and Peelo for the first time.....his future best friends and lifelong playmates.

It's true....this last part is a trial...it has been a trial waiting...it has been a trial being helpless to do much about getting him out...and the labor and delivery will be a trial. But at the end of the trial is life. Little Michael's life, and the redefinition of life that will affect us by his being here. All things will be made new again. Things in this world which are old and commonplace to us now, will once again will be riddled with newness as little Michael experiences them for the first time. Bedtime stories, imagination, baseball games, reading, speaking, walking....all things will be "firsts" for us too.

I can say this as an aunt, everytime Jack or Thomas does something that they weren't able to do before, I marvel....every funny thing that comes out of their mouths, or expression on their face, or new ability...I want to share it with everyone...because it's new. I love telling people what funny thing they said or did. Children make things new...what a blessing to be a part of it!

Here's to the end of our old life and the beginning of our new one....see you on the flip side!!!