Continuing List of Pregnant Woman Etiquette

I am adding on items to my list:

1. Always say they look good. Even if it isn't true...it's the best feeling to hear it.

2. Never comment how big they are getting. Unless you are under 5 and one of my nephews, and even he will follow-up quickly with, "Baby Michael is getting big" as he recognizes that my growing big is a consequence of the baby getting big. Not that bowl of ice cream I just ate.

3. Always call the ever-expanding tummy "cute" or something like that. "Big" never works.

4. When the mama's belly is about to explode, and she's so pregnant that it really literally looks like she has a basketball or watermelon (or as Thomas pronounces it "waller-mello") stuffed under her shirt...DON'T state or ask "Oh! No baby yet?" When encountering a pregnant woman in this condition, please refer to Etiquette rule #1.

5. Never...and I mean NEVER ask a pregnant woman "Are you having twins?!" and CERTAINLY never say it matter-of-factly "Oh, wow! You must be having twins." What are these people thinking?!

6. It's a nice thing to ask a pregnant woman how she's feeling. It shows courtesy, and gives her a chance to communicate a need without complaining. For instance:

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh, pretty well, except my legs are a little swollen."

"Oh, in that case, why don't you have a seat" or "Let's get you taken care of so you can get off your feet."

This is very well received by pregnant ladies, since it allows her to avoid having to say tiredly, "I need to sit down...my legs are swollen." We don't want to feel like a weakling, but still, we may need to move, sit, or get going because of some discomfort.

Better yet, do a combo and combine this rule with Etiquette rule #1:

"You look good! How are you feeling?"

Wow, that has major brownie-point power to it! This approach will always make a tired pregnant lady perk up. "Oh...I look good? Wow, maybe they didn't notice the circles under my eyes because my baby decided nighttime was the time to practice his favorite new move I like to call the "Bicycle."

No, hun, they noticed those circles...and they also noticed the fact that your maternity shirt is increasingly becoming too short, but you refuse to go buy new maternity clothes, so you keep tugging at them to prevent the belly from creeping out from below like a man with a huge beer belly

...and they also noticed that your shoes are either loosely tied or not tied at all because you can no longer tie them yourself but have too much dignity to ask a co-worker to tie them...

and the astute observer probably caught on to the fact that when you walk, your belly has a momentum and a sway on a totally different wavelength from your own, leading you to walk somewhat lopsided (maybe that really is a beer belly)...

...they're just practicing good etiquette!


And that works for me!