Photographer Part 3

The previous two parts of the story being thus concluded, it is now
time to proceed to the final installment of the Ellen Marie saga.

"If that's what signing the contract means, I'd rather wear diapers!"

Ok. So, after seeing EM's portrait room and studio, we then mosied
into her living room, where she has a HUGE image of Michelangelo's
creation that is more than life-size.

We sit down on her comfortable sofas: EM and Mrs. Barber on the couch
and me on the sofa across from both of them.

"Now that I've done all the talking, I want to be quiet and hear from
you!"

I said, "Well your work is certainly beautiful" and apparently that
was EM's definition of "hearing from me" because then she rattled on
for another while to do some more of her own talking.

She offered some good pointers on choosing photographers, things to
look for, questions to ask, etc. Advice that was all very helpful.

Suddenly, though, it got a little too interactive.

"I don't know how women getting married can possibly have men as
photographers. I mean, really, in posing there has to be a lot of
touching and repositioning in order to get the right shot."

Unbeknownst to me, I must have had a look on my face that
communicated, "Ellen Marie, I don't believe you. Please demonstrate
what you mean."

Because that's what she did. She got out of her spot on the sofa, and
to Mrs. Barber's and my amazement came over to where I was sitting and
grabbed my leg, and my hand and started fussing with me as if we were
in a photoshoot where I needed to be repositioned.

"you see? I have to really do a lot of touching, and I just don't
think a lot of girls are comfortable with male photographers doing
that."

Apparently, I still had the look on my face that communicated, "Ellen
Marie, you are pulling my leg (well, of course I had THAT look on my
face because that's what she did..but anyway)...convince me more that
photographers have to touch their subjects in awkward places!"

So, Ellen Marie, said, "you know, I'm often the one to tell girls that
the dress needs to be respositioned because certain body parts are
hanging out of the top."  Because she's convinced that I'm totally
clueless and coulnd't possibly have deduced what part of the anatomy
she was referring to, she had to show me....

thanks for the clarification. Now kindly get your hands off me.

The look on Mrs. Barber's face was becoming more and more priceless.
She had the luxury of not being in EM's line of sight, so she could
make facial expressions that showed the craziness of what was going
on. I, on the other hand, had to be a little more discreet. But soon,
I would get my chance...

The conversation rattled on along the same lines of the close
proximity in which wedding photographers must find themselves in
relation to their subjects and meandered (eventually making her point)
into how she began in wedding photography business.

She heard about this beautiful couple that was struggling financially,
so she got into her car, drove for a while and crashed this couple's
party offering free photography for the opportunity to practice.

The girl was about to get out of the car to go to the Church, and
there EM was standing, camera in hand, offering to take pictures.

They go to the Church and get her ready, EM is taking all sorts of
pictures, and then it's close to time that they have to begin the
ceremony.

But,uh-oh, the bride needs to go to the restroom.

But, uh-oh! All the bridal party, in a rush to get to the Church
abandoned her and the only person left there was EM with all her
equipment.

Well, this girl's dress was huge and flowing! "This big around!!" EM
says as she bows her arms out dramatically around her waist.

But what was I supposed to do? I had all my equipment, everyone was
gone, and somehow this girl needs help going to the bathroom!!

Now, you would have thought I would learn by now to clear the
expression off my face that says, "I don't understand! Please use me
as a live model to show me what you mean!!"

Because as I was caught up in the drama of the story, secretly begging
her to stop, she grabbed my hand, stood me up and demonstrated how she
bent this bride over, got the dress over her head and enabled her to
go to the bathroom!

While I was bending over (oh gosh, writing this phrase shames me as I
allowed this to happen!) I was facing Mrs. Barber, and I can only
imagine if the look on face only half captured the incredulity of how
I felt....the expression I felt myself making was "This is ridiculous-
ness incarnate! She's a nut!"

I then was allowed to return to my chair after she had sufficiently re-
enacted the story of how she helped this girl who she just met go to
the bathroom.

She continued on the drama of the story as she described herself
picking up all her equipment which she had to put down, throw the
dress back down over to return it to its previous state of buffont and
rush out the door to go to the Church.

"so that's why I can't see men being wedding photographers. Could a
man have done that?"

I didn't even know what to say. No response adequately captures how I
felt at that time.  Raised eyebrows and an uncomfortable, "wow" was
all I could utter.

While having EM help me go to the bathroom might be an improvement on
Herman Munster, the first photographer we checked out... well...I just
don't know how to end this sentence normally....

I would rather wear diapers!!!

Steubenville Caterina Connection

Harpo

Join group to reply 3/3/07

BREAKING NEWS!

Kim's favorite meal, saurkraut, is rumored to be the hot ticket for
the reception meal.  (A picture is posted to whet your appetites.)  A
contingent of Iron Chef's, Saurkraut will be traveling from Ohio with
the crowd pleaser.

No worries about it being fresh.  It will be simmered overnight in the
Steubenville Catering Labororatory (pronounced la-BOOOR-a-TOOOR-y).
The dishes will then be brought onto the airplane out of Pittsburg
replete with gas burners to keep the tasty cabbage dish warm and
cooking all the way from the East to the West.

The only concern is whether the wafting fumes of the Saurkraut will
cause spontaneous Polka Dancing.  A room will be procvided for those
wishing to change into their liederhosen.

Harpo

Join group to reply 3/3/07

MORE BREAKING NEWS!

Saukraut will be served buffet style for the more authintic
Steubenville experience.  See picture of woman who was Kim's boss when
she worked at the Steubenville cafeteria.

  Saurkraut for sale.jpg

- show quoted text -

MB

Join group to reply 3/13/07

HAHAHA!!  I am enjoying learning all Kim's secrets.

I don't know how to polka!  I'm going to have to learn before the
wedding. ;)

Photographer Part 2

Ok, so here we go with Part 2.

After we went to the Arcadia photography store, we went to lunch and
enjoyed some delicious fish sandwhiches at Red Robin. Good stuff.  We
talked about wedding dresses and the like, and then went on our way to
go look at Photographer Number 2.

We arrived at Rowland Heights, found the place, Forever Wedding, and
went upstairs. Unfortunately for them, they had just moved into the
studio and were painting and everything was strewn about. That meant
that the impression that couldn't help but be had was that things were
chaotic and not well organized. I'm sure it wasn't their fault, but
not seeing their studio nice and put together was a little unsettling.

We came in, moved some albums of the couches and sat down browsing
through the photographers work while Stacy the coordinator "spoke
Asian" with some other older couple.  First thing that was a strike
against: they didn't have any actual put-together albums. Most of what
we looked at was proofs with a big caption on each photo,
"Photographer by Andy Kemp" (or whatever his name).  No, Kim did not
make a typo. It really said, "Photographer by." I can just imagine on
the wedding album some weird grammatical oddity taking place!

The photographer had nice shots and we both especially liked several
of his candid photos. He had a real good eye for where to be and no
weird shots like Herman Munster.  Then we talked with Stacy, who was
the stylist gal and she told us about their style and how they really
want to do what the couple wants. All in all, I liked her a lot. She
was very friendly, conversational and really set me at ease that we
would have our shots done how we wanted them done, and they really
want to get to know how we are as a couple to match our personality.

The price of this place was good, but what really got me was their
presentation. I can totally understand their office being a little in
shambles, but it was the fact that they had no completed and polished
wedding albums that concerned me. Isn't that their product they are
selling? It's like going to buy a car at a lot that had no cars.
Weird.

All in all, I left their feeling positive about a lot, but we saw a
few of their weird solarized and cartoonish shots and thought maybe
they were trying a little too hard to be artsy and creative.  But as
time wore on, I felt like I could totally see them messing up in
someway and ruining our pictures. Maybe because it seemed so startup
and not established, like they were doing weddings as a side project
so they could fund some other big project or dream. With a name like
"Forever Wedding" you would think that wasn't the case...and i'm sure
I'm wrong, but it just seemed that way. Like they had something else
going on, and if they messed up with one client, that's ok. Well, I'll
be darned if I am that one client!

So while we liked this group more than Herman Munster (because of his
weird staged shots), and we thought they were definitely willing to
try and match our personality, there was still something not quite
right.

We had one more place to go. So Mrs. Barber and I drove to Ellen
Marie's house to see how this family friend was and see how awkward it
was going to be by having to politely tell her that we want to go with
someone else for the wedding because she is too low-budget. ....Stay
tuned!