Barely Left the Drawing Board...

...before we have to go back to it!

A few days ago, I posted about the Blessed Relief we'd been experiencing since Matthew got on some reflux medicine.

But, sadly, it seems like we are back to the drawing board. As his "sleeping" "schedule" at night runs from about 7:30pm-10pm (yes, that's 2.5 hours) and from 10pm-7am, there's not much sleep going on. And once 7am hits, Michael is up and ready to go.

We are exhausted.

Michael and I are taking turns holding him at night so the other gets some shred of sleep, but that only takes a slight edge off a very raw, raw reality of two weeks of insane degrees of sleeplessness.

On the other end of it, we are trying not to hold him too much so we don't train him to reject his bed outright, so it's usually once 4 in the morning hits that we both give in and value the good of the now over the future bad habits we are forming. But after working and working to get him to stay asleep for hours, trying to heroically perservere for some greater goal in the future loses all value. All value.

So, we have more medicine, and the doctor is recommending putting him to bed in his car seat so he can be more upright. It's nice to have something "new" to try, but at this point, we feel a little deflated and I don't want to get my expectations up too high.

I'm trying to "offer it up" for various intentions, but I usually end updoing it retroactively or intending to offer up the upcoming night before it hits, because once we're there experiencing EVERY HOUR OF THE NIGHT, I usually can't muster enough goodness or positive thinking to do it then.

Anyways, don't mean to complain, but it's my blog and I'll vent if I want to!

As a little bonus though, this morning when I fed Matthew he looked at me and gave me the biggest smile in the whole world....and I don't think that was gas. It took the edge off a little, so there are little rewards that keep us going.

All Soggied Up*

* From "O Brother Where Art Thou"...it means "been baptized." Funny thing I saw this the same weekend of the baptism :)



On December 5th, Matthew was baptized!

The ceremony was held in Covina, at the same church where Michael and I were married just a little over two years ago.




Fr. Peter baptized him, and the Barbers hosted a wonderful reception at their house. Unfortunately, due to the Michaels having the tail end of a nasty flu, some of our family members who wanted to come weren't able to make it. They were missed but we knew they were with us in spirit!



Matthew's aunt Noree' and uncle Georgie were the godparents, and Mattew's aunt Wheetah came all the way from Buffalo to come and meet Matthew and witness the baptism...what a treat!!






The ceremony was very beautiful...Fr. Peter spoke about the "simplicity" of being born into God's family. All the trials and difficulties of labor are so much compared to how easy it is to be welcomed into God's family.

However, though it is easy to be born into God's family, the challenges come to remain there throughout the trials and temptations of life. May God gives us, and especially baby Matthew the grace to remain in a state of grace our whole lives, and when we fail, to turn to him in repentance!

(Special thanks to my sister and to Noree, because I used your pictures for this post!)

Blessed Relief

Last week was a little crazy in the Barber home...

Between the Michaels still recovering from their sickness, and of course Michael's dissertation which he turned in on Friday (!!), little Matthew was suffering from acid reflux which meant we were not getting much sleep at all.

Basically, when he would sleep, it would be for 40 minutes, followed by an hour and a half of working to get him back to sleep, for only another 40 minute stint. I think all in all, the average amount of sleep per 24 hour period was about 2 hours. That went on for about 5 days. We were all zombies around here.

Poor Matthew was uncomfortable and wasn't keeping all of his food down so his tummy would get hungry faster. Of course, when he kept waking up, I confess the first emotion I felt wasn't pity, but just a tinge of frustration (why are you awake again?!), but when we went to the doctor on Thursday to see what could be done, he gave him some medicine to settle his tummy, and that night he slept exceedingly well. Then I felt bad for feeling frustrated at all and am just glad he is feeling better and back to himself again.


So we are back to sorts again here at the Barber house. Matthew, though still doing his newborn thing and wakes up at night, is sleeping much better and I am only up a couple of times to feed him.

I just can't tell you what a relief it was that first night we got the medicine. Just one night of better sleep after so many nights of horrible sleep felt so good! I was able to be more patient with Baby Michael and just felt more put together. Prior to that, I was so tired, I didn't even remember how to get to the doctor's office, a place I had been dozens of times before!

Here's hoping to continued good night's rest for everyone!

Ma-Moo**

**How a toddler says "Matthew."



Matthew is 4 weeks old today!!

Matthew is a very gentle little boy. He's very sleepy, (but this doesn't necessarily make him a great sleeper)and likes to spend much of his day snoozing. He snoozes when he eats, he snoozes during a diaper change, just snoozes all the time.

When he is awake, he is very sweet. He smiles a lot. I don't know if they are real smiles, or just random expressions, but either way they are adorable!

I am definitely working on adjusting to a newborn, especially on getting a good sleeping schedule, but all in all, we are doing well!

A Few Important Reminders

I've had long nights the past few nights...and while I can't claim any shred of sense or sanity during the night, thankfully,God has a way of bringing important reminders into my mind during my more sane daylight hours:

• Kids are God's way of perfecting parents. Kids make parents less selfish, and therefore more perfect. It's silly for me to think their task of making me less selfish should fit into a 7am-7pm window.
• The fact that I cherish my evenings SO much makes them a perfect target as an area in which I need to give of myself.
• I've already resigned my days to the kids...that's their time and I don't really concern myself much about what *I* need to get done then....but I need to remember that parenting is a whole gift of self...meaning, when kids needs their Mom at 4 in the morning...that's also their time because I am here for them.
• Conclusions I come to at 4:00 in the morning seem so ridiculous during the day when my mind isn't so raw, when my emotions are so frayed, when daylight chases away sad thoughts...therefore, I should regard any thought held prior to the onset of rational thinking as complete nonsense and not a serious life decision.
• While I am upset in the middle of the night because my baby won't sleep in his bed, or he needs to eat again, or I don't know what's wrong with him, I have to remember that there are many married couples out there desperate for even one baby who would give the whole world and then some to have a baby to keep them up at night. I need to shut up and stop complaining.
• Matthew doesn't understand the concept of "brother" or "Mom has other responsibilities during the day." I should cut him some slack.
• He's only just now 4 weeks old.
• Time goes by fast. It won't be long before he's bigger, more predictable, and less needy.

And of course the most important thing I need to remember:

• God provides the grace. Last night, I could have sworn today was going to be a real stinker of a day. I was tired, poor Matthew had pink bags under his eyes, I had so little sleep and Michael only has one nap during the day..only one period of time where I could take a nap....this was the second night in a row of this....etc, etc, etc.

But today has been such a fun day, even being in the apartment because of the rain, baby Michael is as sweet as can be, Matthew has been sleeping in his bed, Michael Sr. brought me home lunch, and today I feel like I've actually been able to attend to both the kids equally getting good quality time in with Michael, and being a good Mommy to Matthew. And I'm not even that tired! God provides the grace.

So, someone call me tomorrow morning at 4am and remind me of that ok? Chances are good I'll be up, and chances are good I'll need the reminder!

Boys will be Boys

Babies lack any sort of control and discretion when it comes to...ahem...diaper sounds. It's one of the times in a person's life when they are blissfully unaware of social taboos, have no concept of embarassment, and just do whatever they need to do.

But of course, it's every mom's goal to teach her kids good manners and foster a healthy sense of bodily self-control..especially in public.

But it will not be easy, when Matthew has a big brother, who, everytime Matthew makes one of these....diaper sounds...laughs hysterically and says, "Again!?"

Because my day needs a smile...

I began this post yesterday, but finally got pictures to it today...


Today (Tuesday), I need a smile.


I left behind my best friend and my buddy.



They are sick and the doctor didn't want Baby Matthew to get exposed. Because it is a little hard to keep these two separated.



So, in another act of extreme goodness, my mom came down to get me and Matthew, and Michael's mom came down to take care of the sick ones. Leaving in the night with a baby in my arms, I felt a little like the flight into Egypt.




It is so hard to see two of my most beloved people in the world so sick...



Michael who works himself so much without ever a rest certainly doesn't need this right before his dissertation is due!


He works so hard, he even works during play time with Michael!

and Baby Michael is SOO sad, so lethargic, so docile...so not himself when he was sick. He barely had the strength to lift his raspberries to his mouth. My little buddy...I can't wait for him to get the fight back in him!




Please pray for the Michaels, and for Matthew that he stays healthy. Because as sad as it is to see Michael Sr. and Jr sick...they are older and heartier than this little guy:


(though he is growing each day in the "hearty" department).

In the meantime, here's what's on my mind for the next couple of days....