Learning to Sleep

Baby Michael is one tired boy during the day....

It's his little sleep issue he's got...he just can't seem to stay asleep for longer than 20 minutes almost all the time, with just a few exceptions here and there. It's a snowball effect.

In the morning, after his long night sleep, he's cheerful and playful. Then, the morning nap time hits, and he only gets about 20-30 minutes. He wakes up groggy, but not tired enough to easily fall back to sleep.

We try for a little while, but in the end, without a long a stressful fight for both of us, naptime passes and we wait for the next opportunity, resuming playtime and active time until around 11:30 or noon.

By that time, it's time to eat...but he's too tired to eat...so he gets swaddled for a nap, which he may or may not take. If he does take it, it's only for 20 minutes. When he wakes up, he's rested enough to eat (and by now he's very hungry) but not rested enough to be rejuvenated. He'll usually fall asleep while eating, get transferred to his bed, and either awaken instantly, or sleep only for a few minutes more.

After attempting to get him to sleep again and failing, we've now wait until the afternoon for his afternoon nap, usually about 2:30 or 3. By this time, Michael is exhausted. His eyelids are kind of a pinkish color, and he's got major bags around his eyes. Every time I pick him up, he tries to fall asleep on my shoulder, and now anytime I try to feed him, he is fussy.

But...you guessed it! Repeat cycle. His nap, if he takes one is short.

Normally, this time when he wakes up, he is in slightly better spirits and good for some afternoon play. We go for a walk, get some fresh air and see what the world has to offer. By this time, I'll run some errands, or go to work if I have to for a little bit until it's time for his next nap around 5ish. Sometimes I can get him to sleep while I cook dinner...most of the time not.

Next, he gets up, plays with Daddy for a little bit, eats his dinner and then goes off to bed, tired and exhausted at around 7pm, sometmes a little before.

Agh! This is tough! Usually in the afternoons, I will try to ensure he gets a good nap by holding him, but I'm noticing that he never really seems that much regenerated when he gets held for his nap. It's almost like he is in this transitional period where he's no longer so accustomed to sleeping in our arms, but he is still not capable of sleeping in his bed for long periods during the day. It's really really hard to watch.

I've looked online to see what some people (who may or may not be experts) have to say about short sleep cycles, and consistently, people say that it is all about whether or not the child knows how to get himself to sleep.

Over the past few weeks, I've been attempting a "no-cry" shot at this...and it has worked pretty well, with the help of a pacifier, but I have used it primarily when I get him to sleep in my arms, and he wakes up after I transfer him to the crib. Now, I'm taking it a step further and putting him in the crib drowsy yet awake, and trying to soothe him in his bed. That way we don't deal with the hassle of the transfer, and he wakes up in the same place he fell asleep (one reason, the "experts" say is what wakes him after the 20 minute sleep cycle, preventing him from moving smoothly into another sleep cycle).

The past few days, I am taking it just a step further and having the baby just cry it out for limited periods of time. And do you know what? It is working. It's not easy, but it's working.

A few nights ago, in the middle of the night when Michael was unusually alert and playful after a late night feeding, I didn't have the energy or the patience to rock and rock and rock him to sleep. So I just put him in his crib, counting on the fact that it was 3 am, and totally dark in his room to put him to sleep on his own. It did.

Last night, I let Michael cry for 15 minutes, went in and put the pacifier in his mouth, rubbed his tummy and his forehead, said our prayers and left the room. After 3 cycles of this, he finally got himself to sleep.

Today, for a nap, he cried it out for 15 minutes and then fell asleep. He woke up after 25 minutes, and was unsuccessful at getting back to sleep despite my assistance, and despite crying for a little while. I guess you can't win 'em all. He still woke up exhausted, but we gave him a bath and waited for the next sleep period which was bed time.

I did our bedtime routine, except I laid him in his bed awake...unswaddled one arm so he could suck on it. After a little while of on-and-off crying/whimpering, he finally fell asleep and stayed asleep. Actually, he even woke up on several occasions to move around, but got himself back to sleep.

So, is it working? I will only know for sure once he takes longer naps and is able to restfully go to bed, even though I put him down awake...but, by golly, we are working on it.

I know he may be mad, but I think it's best for him to be well-rested, and to have more alert playtime in the day so he can learn new things and be more active.

I'm pleased with our little successes today (and it really wasn't all that much time of him fussing), but am very anxious to get through this period in his learning where he learns to put himself to sleep.

Once again, much solace and company is found online! And thanks to family and friends who listen to me as I drone on and on (since his birth!) about his little sleep issues! May we soon be past them.