First Mother's day

Today was my first Mother's Day.....and Michael has spoiled me today (although he spoils me everyday....so it's hard for him to keep up with himself, I think :)

It was a relaxing day...we went to Mass, I had RCIA and after that I went home and took a nap while Michael got some work done.

Then he brought home some lunch and he gave me a beautiful watch with lots of sparklies around it, a mother of pearl background and a battery that never dies, we ate and then watched some Voyager for a while and then we went for a walk. After that, we had some dinner (Buca di Beppos take-out!) and have just enjoyed a relaxing evening together.

During this relaxing time, I have gotten some time to reflect on being a mom, especially since it is just beginning, and this is now a role I will play that will continue to define the rest of our lives.

In the course of this pregnancy, it's funny to think that being a parent is welcoming a new person into our lives. A person who didn't exist before, but now he exists. He has his own personality, his own look, his own temperment, which may be like one of us or the other, or a never-before-seen mixture of both. He also has his own vocation in life. His own mission. God wanted him to exist because He's got a purpose for him.

Michael Patrick Barber Jr. will see the inner life of the San Diego Barber family. He'll see what no one else (aside from other siblings!) will see. He'll be *in* on our ways...he'll know our inside jokes, and undoubtedly be the cause of some of them. He's a little person that is neither Michael or myself, but is a unique combination of the two, and then something extra that can't be traced directly to either of us, but only to the creative work of God.

He'll impact every aspect of our lives. Since we realized he existed over 7 months ago...he has already altered our lives radically. So much of these past 7.5 months have been oriented towards his coming.

He came into existence and immediately prompted a response of love. We didn't have to get to know him, he didn't have to introduce himself. But just his very existence means we love another person and would turn our lives around for him.

He stole my heart much like his father....one day he wasn't in my life, and then the next day, he was, and the only response was love (However, unlike his daddy who in the first few months of knowing him helped me deal with getting sick, this little one was an accomplice in my getting sick...he's got some learning to do :) )

And little Michael exists because of love. It's so amazing! Just like me and Michael who exist because of the love of our parents--that is the primary cause of our being--baby Michael exists because of our love.

And to our love as a married couple, this baby, and other siblings that, God willing, will join our family, gives our love a certain immortality. When we made our wedding vows, we vowed that we would be joined together as long as we both shall live. Marriage lasts "until death do us part." Yet, in our children, we are now joined together as long as they shall live, and their children should live (unless they are called to priestly or religious life :) ). Because of our being parents, that which is Michael and that which is Kim can't be separated even by our own death, because it has been given a life of its own in our child.

What a blessing it is that God allows us to participate in His creative powers, so that we can again reflect on our own origins: life-giving love!!

I love the anticipation of meeting this little guy! I love having another Michael in my life...another little guy who has already stolen my heart. A mirror to reflect all the reasons why I love his Daddy so much, and the incarnation of the love we have!

When crying, and sleeplessness and diaper changing wears on me, I hope I never forget: It's great to be a mother!