Sense of Justice

Michael has been all about "bad guys."

I don't know when it started, but he frequently asks questions, "Are bad guys happy?" "Do bad guys get presents?" "Do bad guys get dessert?" "Do bad guys lie?"

Often these "bad guys" are exempt from the normal protections we offer to good guys. Like, it's not ok to push Matthew or other children, but "it's ok to push bad guys."

I am not entirely sure if I'm doing the right thing by saying it is ok to push bad guys, because of the whole "love thy enemies thing" but sometimes I envision these bad guys being the sort of people that sneak into bedroom windows at night to try to take things...and yeah, in cases like those, it's ok to push them.

Since loving thy enemies is a more sophisticated teaching in the pedagogy of morality, we're still at rudimentary principles: good guys are happy and don't get punished, bad guys are sad and do get punished. So in our house, bad guys are not offered much in terms of mercy. That can come later. In our house, bad guys are the most unlikeable types for whom nothing goes well.

Michael does not like bad guys. Somehow, even "hating" them crept into his vocabulary (where does he get that? Do I say I hate stuff? I didn't think so....) He talks about them all the time. He likes to emphasize the fact that they don't get things he gets to have. I like this. I want him to see that being good is what you want to do because then you'll be happy and it's how you get all that really matters. In all honesty, it's the Beatitudes adapted to a 3 year old boy's mentality: Blessed (happy) are the peacemakers, blessed are the meek...etc...they get the good stuff.

At lunch today, Michael surprised us by his dislike of the bad buys when he told us, step by step what he was going to do with the bad buys.

"I'm going to get the bad guys."

-"What will you do with them?"

"Put them in the basket."

-"Then what will you do with them?"

"I'm going to dump them in the parking lot."

-"What will happen once they are in the parking lot?"

"They'll get squished by a car."

-"Who will drive the car?"

"Mommy and Daddy and Michael and Matthew."

Michael Sr and I are cracking up, on the one hand slightly disturbed by the violent nature with which he will deliver justice against the bad guys. On the other hand, aware that at a certain point, this is not much less violent than the Biblical teaching of the Wheat and the Tares. I mean, does it not say in Matthew 13:36-43 that, "The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will gather out of his Kingdom all things that cause stumbling, and those who do iniquity, and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be weeping and the gnashing of teeth."

So, we're going to let this be in our home for a while to further cement how undesirable it is to be a bad guy. I'm sure as time goes on, we can develop who the bad guys are, and make sure to always teach mercy and the willingness of our Lord to forgive anyone who asks for it. But, if this is a good springboard to make them want to avoid being a bad guy and do the things that good guys do: praying, being kind, listening to Mommy and Daddy, going to Church, etc, then I think we are heading on the right track.

In the meantime, if Michael comes up to you in a parking lot with a basket in hand, I would go the other way.

Goodbye. Hello.

It's New Year's Eve and reflecting back on 2011, it's been both a rough and a great year.

Here is Michael and Matthew at the beginning of the year:

(Not even walking!!)

And here they are now:

They have both grown so much and are so much fun!

About the year....It started pretty rough. It's hard to believe we spent just about every other week from February to April in the doctor's office either for colds, ear infections, or mysterious eye infections. In fact, the doctor even commented how frequently we were there and commented, "It's not like your kids are in day care, right?" It was that bad, folks. I guess in doctor's minds, there are several levels for sick-kid frequency:

1. Bubble-Boy Level (never sick)
2. Kids Go Nowhere Outside the House Level (the rare sickness)
3. Kids Have Normal Outings to Parks and Stores (the occasional sickness)
4. Kids Play in McDonald's Playhouses Frequently (Sick regularly)
5. Day Care Kids (always sick).

So, despite the sacrifices made to stay at home and keep the kids fairly unexposed, we still managed to reach that enviable Day Care Kid status. (I say this tongue and cheek, no judgment on Day Care...I'm just amused that my doc compared them to kids in Day Care!)

After several rounds of antibiotics, several (expensive) trips to the emergency room due to fever and swollen eyelid and much anxiety, Michael's eye was cured with a....drumroll....Warm washcloth!! Glad it was a simple solution. Bugged we didn't find it sooner.

The brunt of this took place during Lent and we tried to remind ourselves about the importance of suffering and whatnot. Of course, Holy Week just wouldn't be Holy Week without Lent with a little extra. This Holy Week, we got a lot extra. We lost our little Gabriel, as you all well know. That was a suffering that lasted through Holy Week and quite well beyond. While the burial brought us a good deal of closure, I can with all honesty say that not a day goes by that we don't think of our little one that we have yet to meet. We pray for him daily and await our reunion in Heaven.

Around Pentecost, our year started to turn around and we received many blessings of good news: the upcoming news of a new baby for Michael's sister, the continued health of my sister's pregnancy, and the good news of a new baby of our own. Though Gabriel's life was very, very short, he would make way for a baby that so far, has been given a longer span of time, and God willing, will outlive us all. It's a bittersweet mystery: that had Gabriel not died, this baby would never be, but still wishing that we wouldn't have lost Gabriel. Oh would we could have had both! But also, of course knowing that the blessing didn't cause the loss, but was a gift of consolation in the midst of it.

The next few months found the familiar tune of first trimester sickness which somewhat slowed our pace, but didn't stop us from enjoying Michael and Matthew and their ever-increasing boisterous antics. During this year, those boys have become fast friends. They play, they laugh, they plot together and have brought us so much joy.

Michael grew in boundless amounts in maturity and emotional stability and Matthew grew in laughter and smiles.

The last part of the year has been great. Between the birth of our fourth nephew and the continued health of Baby Barber's growth and the continued health of our soon-to-born nephew on Michael's side of the family, it's been a very calm and blessed second half of 2011. Health all around, happiness, and a lot of anticipation for what 2012 will bring.




Happy New Year!

Consistency

It seems that Michael's long-time fascination with light switches is taking a new form.....






I was working in the kitchen and turned around to see what Michael had written! Not bad for a little guy!!



A few minutes after this, Michael asked me to draw a helicopter on the white board. I was busy so I said, "Later, sweetie, I'm fixing lunch." He waited about thirty seconds, looked at me with his big eyes and said, "Mommy, it's later now."

He's a cutie, that's for sure.

Prepping to Be a Big Brother

Matthew has under six months now to work on his big-brother skills. so far, I think he is doing great!

A New Vocabulary

I never realized how easy it is to create an entirely new vocabulary that really is particular to each home....well, maybe other families aren't as weird as ours, but there are times when I wonder if people who come to visit would be able to understand most of what the kids are trying to say.

Michael isn't such a big culprit of it, with the exception of the immovable "Gak" which is "Hot Chocolate." This has been going on since he was a very young fellow...pretty close to just after he turned 1 and he started drinking milk. We would make him hot chocolate which he just consistently kept referring to as "gak." It was cute in its own way, and it just stuck around and I never really thought twice about it until we've had a recent string of babysitters come and feed the kids dinner and I realized I would have to reveal our family secret since Michael would probably ask for this Gak and there is no clue as to what that is in actual English.

Matthew, on the other hand, is really pretty bad about inventing his own language. Granted, he is not even two so we shouldn't expect too much of his pronunciation, but sometimes, his new words go well beyond just babytalk. He can say the words, but he just obstinately refuses to.

"Gak" for him, for instance, is "Da." I keep trying to "correct" him ("No, Matthew, you are saying this made-up word wrong!), but he refuses. His drink is "Da."

Matthew also coined the aforementioned "Stee" which is so much of the family vocabulary that we don't even realize that's it's not a real word and sometimes forget that I have to explain it to people not in the family.

But there are many other words that he comes up with these ridiculous variations for:

"Tahdee"=Car Wash.

"Sahdee"=Syrup, Sausage, Salad, Siren (aka police car or fire truck)

"Dahnee"=Daddy. Can Matthew say "Daddy"? Yes, he can. Does he just decide he wants to give him his own name? Yes. Now, Michael frequently calls his dad, "Donny" and I myself sometimes fall into it and refer to him as "Donny" instead of Daddy. It's like, he just wants to give things his own pet name.

We correct him when we think about it, and I know advice givers are usually not a fan of the parents adopting their children's language rather than vice versa, but, it just sort of happens, and it is endearing, at least to us anyway.

I suppose I can hardly blame Matthew, who himself is rarely called by his given name. Throughout his almost two years of life, Matthew has more frequently been referrred to as

Moo
Moose
Moo-da-Moo
Moosey-Moo
Moo-Moos
Poops (this one I've been scolded about by my husband so I only use it when I'm the only parent around)
Matt-tah-tee (this is what he calls himself)

This list is by no means exhaustive, but just what I might use throughout the day. I guess it's no wonder he thinks the name of something is up for re-invention. Oops.

Despite Matthew's baby talk, he can be surprisingly articulate. He speaks in full (albeit short) sentences from time to time, with proper verb conjugation too, such as:

"I want to sit down."

"I'm thirsty, Mama."

"Ooohh, thank you, Mama!"

"Is it dirty? Eww....dirty!"

"Mama! I want to go potty!"

"I want more pasta, please."

Matthew's language development is certainly different from Michael's. Michael learned words, Matthew learned phrases. But he has a pretty thick layer of baby talk to get through that I don't recall Michael having. Matthew, however, is reaching the stage where he is determined that he is making sense and he gets easily frustrated when he is not perfectly understood. Many times, lately he just repeats the same thing over and over, each time more insistently until I just give up and say, "I'm sorry! I don't understand." Sometimes, I really don't understand...sometimes, it takes a few minutes of searching through my memory databanks to recall what he thinks he is saying. Poor kid. He gets so mad.

But the learning process is exciting to see and I look forward to hearing more of what's going on in that little Moosey-brain!

You should watch this video

I love my boys.

Poop on the Rug, Mayonnaise on the Floor

So Michael has been working on potty training for months now. Months. The #1 part he really does have down no problem. He'll tell us when he has to go and can manage everything in the process well with little assistance.

It's the #2 stuff that we are continually struggling with. Really struggling. If I were smart, I'd keep a journal, because something tells me there is a pattern here. Sometimes, Michael has his "business" to do in the afternoon, for which there has been no problem going in the toilet because we always have him sit on the toilet before nap time, and he goes during that time.

But a few days a week, Michael's business schedule leads him to have to go in the morning. Usually between 9-10. It's these morning business transactions that are constantly causing problems. It's these times that he always just goes in his underwear. Sometimes it's just a beginning installment, sometimes he empties his accounts.

Today, my frustration with this on-going problem was compounded, when taking off his soiled underwear, he managed to step in it, trailing it all over the bathroom rug.

Oh. The new bathroom rug I might add.

I put him on the toilet and left him there to finish his business while I attended to other matters, which included making a sandwich. (After using the word "toilet" and "sandwich" in the same sentence, I must add how thoroughly I washed my hands in between the two activities).

Perhaps in my flurry of frustration over the toilet incident, I mishandled the mayonnaise jar (after it was open, of course) and upon hitting the floor, it glopped mayonaise all over the kitchen floor....You can imagine my state of mind at this point in the day.

After remedying the current problem of continence, condiments, and confidence (with wet wipes, a gaggle of napkins, and a Starbucks drink, respectively), I conducted some extensive research on the problem (e.g. I googled "my three year old keeps pooping his pants") and am finding I am not alone in the mothering community with this problem.

Some of the solutions include:
1) Just wait until they grow into greater control of their muscles and the problem will solve itself.
2) Doctors sometimes prescribe laxatives to help kids who have on-going struggles with this (does this not seem like a bad idea to anyone else??)
3) "Just watch him better" (point taken. There have been a few occasions when I have been doing other things and he's been playing in his room quietly--a little too quietly I later discover--but other times it happens when I'm sitting right in front of him asking if he has to go on the toilet to which he responds "No" only to do his business right in front of me...boy if that isn't the most frustrating ever).

Never mind my own solution which I thought was going to be a quick remedy to the problem: have him wash out his own poopy underwear. Unfortunately, he is quite taken with the process of scrubbing, washing, rinsing, and wringing out his underpants that it no longer serves as much of a deterrent.

So, I pose the question to anyone out there: Any experience with this? What methods, if any go towards solving this problem?