Light

I've been slowly trying to improve my photography and use the never-before-used settings on my camera so in 5 years I can treat myself to a newer, nicer camera...but I've promised myself not until I master the settings on this one!

So far the simplest (and best) thing I've done to improve pictures is using as much natural light as much as possible






...and playing with my focus dial for making the camera focus on things a certain distance away

(focus on the feet, but still get the face in the background)

(focus on the face and not the greedy hand reaching for my camera).


Oops.


He got it. (I should have dialed down the focus one more notch...just a little blurry).


It's hard to make a picture go wrong with sunlight...it just does wonders!



But sometimes, instead of using the sun, the dark contrast and shadows of strategically placed light is also fun.




In which case, it's helpful to use a little bit of moon :)

Six Month Update

I can't sleep....

...is that supposed to run in the family?

Anyways...so here is an update for you!

Michael turned 6 months old on Sunday and, once again, he seems to be right on track developmentally for his age.

Michael is not nakies in this picture...there is a diaper. I would never think of putting a nakies baby on our bed!

Some fun things that Michael is doing is reaching for things that he wants. I mean, he sticks his arms straight towards whatever has caught his attention, and he sticks his lip out and the look on his face is clearly: I want that.

It's way cute.

Michael is continuing to perfect the roll-over, and is getting really good at moving toward toys and things he wants. This is a good sign for me, because he is starting to make the connection between what he wants, and how to get there--good steps for mobility!
He is also making fun sounds, like "ba!" and "thhhh" and "mmmmm" and, of course, "pppbbbttt!!!"

On several occasions, I swear I've heard him say things like, "hey!" and "ok!" It was not my imagination!!

Some not so fun things (well, there is really only one) is that he is starting to protest when things don't go his way, or he wasn't done playing with a toy when it was moved out of his hands (so I could dress him, or something). He will cry. He is getting a bit testy when we are doing things he is not a fan of, like getting dressed. So, he is starting to profess his opinion, which is good. I'm glad he has strong stances on things. So does his Daddy :)

The sleeping thing is back to hit-and-miss. After great strides, he is back to his 30 minute catnap most of the time....oh well.

But hey, he is sleeping through the night!! So I'm not too stressed about it all. Well, I try not to be stressed about it. His afternoon naps are very painful to get him to go down for. I don't know what changed, but I can no longer just put him in his bed and have him get himself to sleep (we can for the morning and nighttime...weird, huh?) but for that afternoon nap, it is a very consistent (and painful) song and dance. It always involves him screaming his head off for several minutes (no matter what I do...hold him, rock him, walk around...nothing calms him) and then at some magical moment, he decides he is done and he goes to sleep. Of course, his first few minutes of sleep are laden with quick breaths from his hard crying...but I don't know how to fix it! It's just what we do now, I guess.

I don't like it. I wish I knew what was wrong, or what to do to prevent it. I don't think it's over-tiredness, because when I put him down earlier, it's the same thing...I dunno. Hopefully we can resolve it soon though.

But, back to good news...his nighttime sleeping is going amazing! He's a good little sleeper and will go from 7pm to 6-6:30am and after waking up with either some crying, or maybe even some singing, he'll stay in his bed playing with his blankie (thanks Aunt Wheetah!) or I'll put a toy in there and I'll be able to sneak a few minutes of sleep until 7. It's nice. I don't feel nearly as tired anymore in the day!

*quick tangent: I was teaching a class the other day and introduced myself, and told everyone about Michael, and what he is learning and how we are happy he is finally getting some good sleep....and as we went around the room, another mom introduced herself and talked about her son and said, "Well, he's been sleeping through the night since he was two weeks old, so I feel sorry for you *smirk* Yeah, he's pretty chill."

Grr! I hate "mom competition"! It's ugly and nasty and gross. Especially when you are comparing your child to my child and my child is being presented on the "losing end."

I was about to offer some defense for Michael and reiterate just how great he is, and we love him just as he is because he is just perfect...and then wipe that smirk off her face by explaining that in 14 years her baby is going to be rolling outta bed at noon everyday and will be lethargic and lazy while baby Michael will be finishing writing his third book by then....


...but I was supposed to be teaching a class on the love of God, so I held my tongue.

I hate mom competition. See what it does to me? *end tangent*

I do have to say, in all my reading of baby sleep problems/solutions, I am pretty much ready to admit that Michael does not have a sleeping problem...at least not as bad by a long shot, as some other babies. I mean, I read these stories and I feel guilty for ever complaining! Michael is a good little boy who sleeps well at night, can get himself to sleep on his own, is cheerful in the day, and can at least take predictable naps. They may not be long, but goshdarnit, they are pretty regular and predictable!

Remind me of that last paragraph...like tomorrow around 1:30 when I'm pulling my hair out!


So in addition to our great advances in the sleep department, the last big thing to mention is that.....


Michael is eating solid foods!!!

He is a GOOD eater!


anyone surprised?

He likes pears, sweet potatoes, carrots and LOVES apples (he ate a half an apple at one sitting!).

He reaches for the spoon and helps me get it to his mouth.




And he leans forward with that cute upper lip sticking out to tell me he wants more.


And he drinks from his sippy cup (and soaks himself every time!)


And he is just so cute.


Sometimes, he is a little unsure....

... but after a few minutes of eating (plus, you know, Daddy), he just loves it to pieces.

It takes a bit more time, because now it is just a supplement to nursing rather than a replacement of it...so it adds a good chunk of time to our morning and our evening routine...but it is all part of the process, and it is super fun!



So we are halfway to the 1 year mark! It's hard to believe! Six months seems like such a big milestone! And we are continuing to have fun with it all.

Rest in Peace

The funeral was today for the little girl who recently died of SIDS.

It was very, very sad day.

I have attended Funeral masses before...several in the past year, all of people who lived a long life, full of faith who died a happy death in close communion with the Lord. While each of these funerals were very sad and hard on the families, there was the component of peace because of the beautiful and long lives these people lived.

However, this was not like those funerals.

To bury a little girl, just five weeks old, to have died so unexpectedly....it was so very very heartbreaking.

The parents brought up the gifts and walked down the aisle in tears. When they reached the priest to hand him the gifts, he gave them to the altar servers and they leaned towards him and he embraced them, wrapping one arm around each of them, drawing them in as they buried their heads in his shoulder and cried. I think everyone in the congregration was in tears at that point. Moms who held babies on their lap held them a little closer at that moment.

The Mass continued, with beautiful solemn music, which captured the spirit of mourning, yet hope.

At the end of Mass, the father took the casket of his little girl in his arms...and carried her to the back of the Church. I will never as long as I live forget the look on his face as he clung to that little casket. Caskets should not be that small. Caskets should be large and heavy, requiring many men to lift them. When a man can take a casket into his arms and carry it by himself, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

The mother walked behind her husband, being consoled by (I think) her mother. She wept, probably living in a surreal moment, wondering how, just five short weeks ago, she held this newborn girl in her arms, and now she was following as she is carried to her grave.

She probably is reliving every moment of the day before her little girl died...it was probably an ordinary day, and no doubt gave no indication that the next day would be probably the most devastating day of her life and will radically reorient every day from here on out.

As I sat holding Michael in my lap, taking this all in...praying for the family, it made me think how this truly is a "valley of tears." This world truly is without hope without Christ. Without Jesus, there is no reunion after death. Without Jesus, these parents would never see their little girl...but because of what Jesus has done for us by conquering death, their reunion awaits them.

Without Jesus, we are alone in our suffering. Suffering is empty and meaningless. Only with Jesus do we have a companion in our suffering. Someone who knows the woes of death, the pain of betrayal, and the agony of physical suffering. In Jesus, God is truly with us in our pain. Only with Jesus, can our suffering bring about redemption. We can unite our suffering to His suffering and trust that our Lord will bring about good from terrible, terrible things. Our God is so powerful, even a tragedy like the death of a little girl can be transformed to bring about life.

The compassion of God, who is with us in our suffering, was demonstrated by that solemn moment during the offering of the gifts when the parents reached Fr. Richard (who lost his own son a few years ago), who is elderly with a white beard, not too unlike many artistic representations of God the Father. The mom and dad reached him and fell into his embrace. And Fr. Richard, standing as a representative for Jesus (priests in Mass stand in persona Christi), took them in his arms and held them, letting them know that they are not alone in their suffering. I am sure that as they were embraced by Fr. Richard, the mom and dad just wanted him to make it all better. They wanted the last few days to be undone. They wanted to just go back to this time last week, when their little girl was starting to coo, and smile, and wiggle her little arms and legs.

But Fr. Richard can't turn back the clock for them, though if he could, he would have. He can just embrace them, pray for them, and remind them of Christ our hope. He can stand as a witness that God can be trusted, even if seems like He is punishing us. Jesus will give meaning to their loss. He will bring their little girl back to life...he will undo the permenance of death.

In fact, he already has.

This little girl is not dead. She is alive. She is not on earth anymore, but she is alive. She is praying for her mom and dad, awaiting their reunion once again.

May God grant her family comfort and peace. May God grant them understanding, and most of all, grant them hope.

Please don't forget to keep them in your prayers.

Please Pray for a Friend

Dear Family and Friends,

I know everyone who reads the blog is a great pray-er.

In fact, several months ago, I asked everyone to pray for a friend and his wife because their little boy was born super early. And now, many months later..that little boy is doing great! And I know it is because lots of people were praying for him.

But today, I want to ask you to pray for a family at Good Shepherd who lost their little girl to SIDS yesterday.

She was one month old, and needless to say, her mom and dad are in a state of shock.

I cannot come close to imagining how they must feel right now. And even if I could imagine it, the reality would still be a thousand times worse.

Pray for healing for their brokenheartedness, and for understanding and attentiveness to God as He makes his love manifest to them in this difficult time. God didn't cause this to happen, He didn't do this to the baby. God doesn't bring death, but life...so pray that everyone who is grieving can look to Him to sow seeds of life amidst the gloom of death.

Pray for the mom and dad, for the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, and family and friends. Pray for the repose of the soul of the little girl.

Sitting Up and Reading

We have been practicing sitting up on our bed (where it is soft when he falls)....


But it's easier using the Boppy Pillow so he is somewhat stabilized:


He likes to sit up and read books, turning the pages....



...and sniffing the..animals...
Sometimes he gets tired....



...and needs a rest....



But all in all..he likes it!

Becoming one of *Those* Moms...

Tonight, I ran out to the grocery store while Michael Sr went to bed early and baby Michael slept...

Though Michael has always been perfect at the grocery store and a good little shopping buddy, it is nice not having to play grocery jenga, piling things around his car seat (sometimes, I just don't feel like hauling him around in one of those baby carriers strapped to me. Hey, I did my time for 9 months, and Lord knows he ain't getting any lighter!)...so I just put his whole car seat in the basket and pile things around him. It's always fun when the checkers/baggers try to strategize where to put the groceries that are all bagged up.

So, going by myself has the benefit of just throwing everything in the cart and not worrying about Michael...and it is also kinda nice sometimes not having to make buying chicken broth sound like the most exciting thing in the world.

But as I was leaving, I saw a lady in the parking lot standing with a little girl, probably around Michael's age chatting with a lady.

I thought to myself bitterly:

Lady! It's 10:05!!! Get that poor little girl to bed!!!

Then my second thought was,

Oh goodness! I just did it! I'm becoming one those moms who judges all the other moms! Aack!!

I immediately felt bad for being so judgmental of that mom...and then my repentance turned towards self-pity:

I bet that baby sleeps soundly all day and sleeps through the night! I bed that mom can keep her baby up however late and it doesn't matter. Meanwhile, I have to bend over backwards, do a backflip and walk on eggshells to get a 30 minute nap from my boy, and if we're lucky, only two night wakings. Life's not fair!


Then I reflected once again on what a good boy Michael is when he's awake, even if he seems short on sleep and probably could stand a few more Zzzz's. Like today for instance, after Sunday Mass which was right during his naptime (he did snooze a little bit in Daddy's arms during the homily--Sorry Fr. Michael!), he was patient during the next 1.5 while I was at RCIA, and even tolerated without the slightest whimper, my delaying his lunch by 30 minutes...what a trooper. Where do I get off complaining?

But back to the mom in the parking lot....

Swiftly, my self-pity turned into pity for the little girl, because as I was getting in the car, I heard a long, loud, blood-curdling shriek come from her as she was being strapped into her car seat. She continued to cry for several minutes, in fact, I drove away and she was still crying. That kind of cry only comes from a tired kid who wants to cuddle up with her blankie in her warm bed.

Of course, that mom could have been out for any number of reasons...maybe she's visiting her friend and hardly ever keeps her out late....maybe that little girl just happens to go to bed later than Michael..I don't know...

Whatever the case, I feel somewhat ashamed of my judgment, but somewhat justified that maybe I was a little bit right when I heard that poor kid cry...and somewhat desperate (if folks didn't know how hard I tried, they might look at Michael and think I'm not doing enough to get him enough rest)...but all in all, A LOT grateful for my little boy, in all his Michael-ness. Crazy sleep patterns and all.

Hairstyles

If Michael were the son of a Hollywood couple....



If Michael were a Little Rascal




If Michael were a child of the late eighties (note the hair wave)...


If Michael were just a darling little boy: