One thing I have noticed is that people seem to treat pregnant ladies with a certain bluntness, that I can say, is not always appreciated.
Among the more minor offenses is the perceived open invitation to touch my stomach anytime. This really doesn't both me all that much, but no one knows that as they go in for the reach. Aside from the "safe zones" of people's arms and shoulders...there are not many parts of the body that are just open for strangers to come up and touch. Yet, no one remembers that when there is a pregnant belly in sight: "I must touch it!! I cannot help myself!" People seemed to think to themselves.
But if this were the only thing, I really wouldn't care.
It's the other things I hear that are leading me to believe that people can say anything to a pregnant lady they could never say to anyone else, just because she is pregnant.
In the first trimester it was, "Kim...you look terrible!" Yes. Thank you, that was the look I was going for.
Since then, once the belly started to really show, here are a few winners:
"You look so big!"
"You get bigger and bigger every day!"
"That shirt makes you look huge!"
"When were you due? I would guess...like, yesterday!"
I try to have a good sense of humor about it, and maybe that's why I'm an easy target, because people can guess that...but in the end, it really is a guess on their part that I'm not super self-conscious about my increasing size. If it is a close friend, it really doesn't phase me, because they know those sorts of statements don't bother me (although, now they are adding up, they are getting a little annoying). But if they are not a close a friend, part of me wonders what they are thinking when they say these things! What woman really wants to be called "big" all the time?
My usual response is "Well, that's what happens!" or "it would be weird if the baby got smaller, wouldn't it?" or something that doesn't make them think I'm having an emotional pregnant moment...but enough to also communicate, "I have no response to that." After all, what am I supposed to say after someone says how big I am getting...."Thanks"?
The polite people say, "Oh, you're belly is so cute!" Not that I'm saying I have a cute belly, but if you want to make some exclamatory comment that cannot be taken rudely..people should say that. I know what they are saying..they are trying to say "you're getting big" and they are remarking on the increased size of the baby, but they are doing it in such a way that is tactful. I'll take "cute" anyday over "big."
Even to say, "The baby is growing!" is much better than to say "Kim you are getting so big." I know they are essentially the same thing, but one is not rude because it's commenting on a developing baby, and one is finding a loophole in the steadfast rule: Never call a woman big.
The one that takes the cake though, is the insistence of one of the people with whom I deal at work who insists that the early contractions have been brought on because I didn't listen to her and did too much work. "It's your fault this is happening" she kept saying. Meanwhile, me trying to keep my sense of humor, play it off like she's crazy, and that's nonsense, until I get in the car and the sense of anger at the inflammatory accusation sinks in.
Yes. I intentionally worked too hard so that I would go into early labor and thus endanger my own child. That was it. You caught me. Never mind that my own physiology clearly has something to do with it...it was just all my fault, I should have listened to you everytime you badgered me into not moving a glass full of water because it was too heavy and I would hurt the baby.
What kind of person says that this is all my fault?! Anxiety caused by comments like that does far worse for the baby than anything I may have lifted or moved.
Anyway, this ranting is probably no longer good for me...but I've just bombarded with an onslaught of these comments today...and it's kind of getting annoying.
Sorry for the bad mood blog....I love you guys!!
